I've been "Japanese" for 38 years, but I am still fascinated by my people. They are very kind, very polite, very smart, utterly unique and "ambiguous."
Ever since I was in the elementary school until about 7 years ago, I always hated Japan. Can you believe it? I really, really desired to run away from Japan ASAP and wanted to live in America for the rest of my life. Here is the reason.
Since I was little, I was a very opinionated, strong willed child. (What's new? I had many fears, though.) My strong character gave me a very hard life in Japan while I was growing up. Most of my teachers did not like me at all because I talked back to them with my opinions. But I was unusual doing that. Like a Japanese proverb says, "The stake that sticks up gets hammered down," which means, "If you stand out, you will be subject to criticism." The teachers expected us (students) to have the same opinions in the class room. No argument. No debate. The students were to remain silent. So we just absorbed information like a sponge. Therefore, we were very quiet in the classroom and just tried to memorize and believe whatever teachers said and taught -- without critical thinking.
So in my generation, we were educated and programmed to be "not-individual-thinking" kinda people through our compulsury education. Oh and we were not allowed to wear the clothes that we liked. Not all, but many of us needed to wear the same uniform until we became 18 years old. Please come to Japan and see the Japanese people wearing very similar clothes even after they became adults.
Little by little, I started losing myself. I became no one. I did not care much about life or anything. Life was way too boring to me in Japan.
That education system, I believe, made the Japanese people "ambiguous." They became uncomfortable to have their own opinions and beliefs. If one stands out, what does he or she get? Criticism! Hatred! "She is crazy!" Right? So we'd better stay in the harmony called "WA" without sharing our true hearts with others. They'd better choose to be ambiguous rather than being real. But what do I mean by "ambiguous"?
First of all, I want to say this opinionated girl became ambiguous, too! After many years of education, I was brainwashed. I gave up thinking. I even thought there was no absolute truth. I was surrounded by thousands of thousands of gods, so how could I determine which one was right and which one was wrong? Everything was right. Even a god of chopsticks! Each god had its own purpose and goodness, correct? So I went from temple to temple, from shine to shrine, from this fortune teller to that fortune teller, from this psychologist to that psychologist. How did I choose which one to visit each time? Depending on my needs! When I was sick, I went to a shrine to pray to a god of health. When I wanted to get a good job, I went to a shrine to pray to a god of business. A god of this, a god of that, Japan was one big department store for varieties of gods. In retrospect, my action revealed my heart. I thought I could easily manipulate gods by our prayers and "money." (Because I did not obey nor surrender.)
"How convenient!" my Japanese friend said. "Japan is so convenient, right?" he continued. "Why?" I asked. "Well, because we have so many gods. We are sufficient! Not only gods but we also have ancestors! And I even carry one charm that I got from a famous shrine!"
If one asks a Japanese, "Do you believe in anyone or anything like... God?" They would say, "No, nothing. I am atheist." "But why do you have an alter at home? Why do you sacrifice fruits and water daily?" The common answer would be, "Oh that is what my parents did." They rarely say, "Because of my faith in this, I do this." They are afraid of making a commitment to one god or having their own opinions/beliefs. They like to be ambiguous.
When my friend and I visited shrines and temples in Tokyo, Kamakura, and Kyoto this month, I was very astonished. By looking at what they do, I thought the Japanese people were very, very, very religious. But the interesting thing is that they don't thnk they are. They don't admit they are. So I asked the Japanese man, "You said you did not believe any gods. Why do you carry that charm? That's just a little bag for you, right?" He pondered a little while and said... "That's right! You are right!" I told him, "I saw some charms the other day at Hase Temple, and their charm was only 400 yen (US$4) to avoid calamities in life. Just 400 yen! Don't you think that's way too cheap?" "That's right!" he said. It was the first time for him to be asked for a reason for what he did. "And what's the point for you to go pray to gods if you do not believe any gods? Have you ever thought about what you have been doing? Your actions show that you are, indeed, a very religeous person. You even pay to pray!" He laughed, but after that we had a good discussion.
It is so much fun to get to know my people. I love them. Jesus gave me His love for the Japanese people one Summer. I still wanted to live in America then, so I was doing my best to obtain a green card. But I was taking a summer break in Japan from my college in the US. One day I took a train on my way to Osaka. The train was packed with people. And I started crying. Without reason. I was just so deeply sad in my heart that I was the only one person who knew Jesus on the train. "They don't know Me." I heard in my heart. Then I realized the overflowing tears were not mine, but Jesus'. On that day on the train, I decided to come back to Japan to preach the Gospel to my people.
Please pray for the Japanese people that their eyes will be opened and that their hearts will be softened and that they come to faith in Christ by obtaining the knowledge of true salvation. I hope to ask them many questions to encourage them to think. To think together. To reason together. And hoping one day, they will gain the knowledge of salvation in Christ Jesus, who is the Lord and Savior of all, including the Japanese people. Amen.
2012-05-12
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